The Circus continues...

Writer’s Block. Mediocrity. I don’t want either of these things. I want them both to piss off. Now. Like… legit…NOW. Bye Felicia… (*is that still a thing?) 

I think maybe my writers block is coming right now because of my busy mind. It’s a BUSY BUSY place and it’s driving me nuts! Truly. I wonder if that is a major factor in driving some artists MAAADDDD! Another word for it, or so I’m told, is “Monkey Mind”. Anyone? Yep… my brain is FULL of those jerks. Like daily. And of course I have learned over the years that this can be combatted by meditation and true silence and stillness. So, why don’t I do what I know to do? I struggle with this big time. My body wants to get up and do. My mind wants to run through every single thing that has ever happened in my life. Like…EVERYTHING. And I KNOW how good it feels to be still. And yet, I fail at it. Daily. Ugh…………………………… 

If anyone has some good advice on this, I welcome it! I need to do something because this very thing leads me to my NEXT issue… 

MEDIOCRITY! 

I LOATHE Mediocrity. I just don’t think there is any excuse for it. And yet I find myself feeling extremely MEDIOCRE lately. This probably has a LOT to do with my monkey mind, and my busyness which is keeping me from TRULY listening to the divine pull inside of me. The one that IS where creativity comes from.  I think the information that I’ve been taking into my brain lately has a major affect on me and these issues too. Like ‘Leaving Neverland’ and ‘SERIAL’. (*and yet I continue to find these shows intriguing) 

Ugh……………………… 

I think it’s becoming extremely hard to feel good about people. And I’ve ALWAYS been one that tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. My heart is shattered by the things that happen to innocent people. And the webs that we all seem to weave… dear GOD. I’m baffled by all of it! I admit…I’ve woven a few doozies in my life, which for SURE make up a lot of the monkeys in my mind. This is probably what also makes me feel mediocre. WTH?!?! THE CIRCUS CONTINUES… 

I mean, does anyone else smell what I’m steppin in? I KNOW it isn’t just me. I gotta find some ways to level the playing field here. I love being positive and looking for the goodness around me. And I love speaking that out loud and watching the goodness that comes from it. Positivity. YES! But I also feel these other things… and I guess I just feel like talking about those things too. Sometimes. But not all the time cuz then I’m just “Debby F’ing Downer” and who wants to be friends with HER??!?!??! 

Any thoughts on these things are welcomed……… BAM! 

#walkingeachotherhome 

Xoxo - me*

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